Boomerangs Are Losers

And So Am I (But in a Cool, Spiraling Way)

May 3rd, 2025
Olathe, KS

I watched a guy in the park throw a boomerang. I'd never seen a boomerang thrown outside of video games and cartoons. They were, as far as I understood, a tool inverted for its medium, something memorizing for the cartoon watcher and satisfying for the video game player.

Boomerangs are actual weapons, I learned. The novelty of a weapon as a play thing intrigued me. But the fascination was short lived as I grappled with the realization that when the weapon succeeds at its goal–to hit its target–a return trip becomes impossible. The prey, rudely, gets in the way. No return flight. No magic. Just a dull thud, followed by a walk to retrieve the felled, impotent weapon.

There's nothing fun about throwing the boomerang, watching it fall, then chasing it to repeat. The boomerang is only fun when it misses. The thing, then, is fun only in failure.

Someday, I hope to achieve this same level of spin. Next time I fall from a boulder problem, I'm going to celebrate, and I'll convince the world that finish holds are for losers.